I Can & Can’t Always Get What I Want

I know I get answers to the questions I ask the universe.  I’ve also learned that I can get in a dark space when I can’t get what I want.  Like a toddler, only I’m having the ongoing tantrum in my head.

A few months ago I had a lot of questions around my body, and building muscle on a plant based diet.  I began to question in myself my value systems – do I value a healthy, disease free body or a lean, muscle body?  Do I have to choose one or the other?

Plant Based Muscle
A great book that taught me how to put on plant-based muscle.

Then voila I meet Aryana, then the Vegan body builder, then Aryana lends me a copy of the book Thrive Fitness: The Program for Peak Mental & Physical Strength Fuled by Clean, Plant-Based, Whole Food Recipes by Brendan Brazier (fellow Canadian!)

The book was awesome and really taught me how a plant-based diet could support my healing, workouts and desired body type.  I got to the recipe section and was so excited to see that he had recipes for pre and post workout fuel.

But then… BAM!  My heart dropped.  I’m in Vietnam!  I don’t have access to Maca, protein powders, and the other power foods that he lists in his recipes.  Suddenly I felt powerless.  And this sensation gnawed at me all morning until

My mood that day matched the sky.

I realized in the afternoon that I was feeling quite down.  And my root thought was “no control”.

After sitting with this for a while, I remembered something that Shawn-the-body-builder told me at the Vegan restaurant.  He detoxed and cleansed his body for quite a while and lost a lot of weight before he regained strength and was able to get stronger than ever before.  Plus put muscle back on.  He had to break down before he could build up.  This really resonated with me that now is my time to heal.  And later I can explore muscle.

Plus there are always two sides to that want coin.  Here I am in Vietnam at a time where I truly need to be.  I have access to constant sunshine, the meditative ocean, and maybe most importantly – the cheap, healing local fresh fruit and vegetables available only 5 minutes away at an outside market.

In Canada, I will not be by the ocean or market, but I will have access to these recipe ingredients.

This has been another lesson for me to be present and grateful for what I do have today.  It’s what I’m meant to have.   And when I get back to Canada, I will have access to what I’m meant to have there.

I need to flow.  I can always get what I want.  If I ask for help with the right questions, listen to the answers, and then be patient.  Oh man… that patience thing… gimme gimme!!

Who I Am…

In my intuitive healing report from March 10, 2018,  Tania was guided to have me fill in this sentence:  I am not my thoughts, I am not my emotions…I am…

I woke up again at 1:00 am and I could tell my body was alert and ready to receive information.

So I asked myself “Who am I?”  As with most divine messages I receive, I wasn’t even done asking the question and a response was flowing into my head.

I am a beautiful soul with much to contribute to my global community.

Wow!  Simple, powerful and profound!   So nice to know this so that when any lower energy thoughts come into my head, I can gently brush them aside and know who I really am.

I am so grateful for Tania’s guidance, and for my openness to have these messages flow through me.  And I’m very proud of myself for coming downstairs at 1:00 am to let this flow into my fingers.   Flow… this one was of my soul’s desires and it feels amazing!

Appointment With Vietnamese TCM Doctor

The locals here use Mr. Vu’s uncle, Mr. Sau, a third generation physician practicing Traditional Chinese Medicine.  Mr. Vu is the translator while Mr. Sau provides TCM consults, treatments and dispenses herbs when necessary.   I was told about him from a few of the expats here so I was excited to meet with him at our home!

Once settled, Vu asked me what my problem was.  I explained “I have depression in my head.  And I am stopping taking the medicines that my western doctor gave me.  I also have pain down my left leg”. (This leg pain had started a few months ago from walking every morning, maybe in wrong footwear?)

Then I sat on the couch and Mr. Sau pressed on my wrist to take my energy pulses.  Right away he asked about my jaw and started to rub my jaw.  “Is there pain here?”  “Yes, I’ve had jaw and TMJ pain for as I could remember.”  Next he pressed into my low back and asked if I have pain here.  “Yes, I have had low back pain for years.”  Mr. Sau nodded and said that I have had this injury for a long time.  When I explained I had been in a car accident in 2000 he nodded with knowing.


I asked Mr. Vu how Mr. Sau knew this, and Vu said that “Mr. Sau meditates for three hours every day and he can hear ghosts.  He is three people in one.”  WOW!  I love working with people connected to spirit!  Access to so much more knowledge.

Anyway… next, Mr. Sau palpated my right pectoral muscle and found a very weak and sore spot.  Then he found a similar weak and sore spot on my back, directly behind the spot on my chest.

Then Mr. Sau asked to see my pills from my doctor.  He felt them in his hands then told me that these pills are for people who don’t have energy.  And I have lots of energy.

Prognosis:  “You don’t have depression.  You have weak kidneys.  And your tight muscles are blocking your energy to your brain.”  ah ha!  Depression Theory #2!


  • TCM herbs for my kidneys and energy (the big herbal balls), and some for muscle and joint pain (small herbal balls).  Both are made from hand picked local herbs, rolled and dried in the sun.  I am to chew on the big herb balls, and swallow the small ones down with water.
  • Ginger poultice on my back and chest to relieve pain (ginger cooked down with rice wine).
  • Stretch my neck down, and side to side many times a day.
  • Stretch my inner thighs and quads.
    • Side to side knee
    • bends
    • Camel pose until I can remove the pillows and lay back on the floor.
    • Wide legs stretch, using a wall to eventually get deeper, rotating my ankles in and out

Ready to try this out!  Stay tuned!

My Intuitive Healing Session with Tania Guidolin

I met Tania at a Hoi An Social Club night, and just loved her energy!  Turned out she is a Mindfulness Educator, Holistic Intuitive Life coach and works with Energy Medicine.

So as life goes, we continued to run into each other.  Once I started my fruit detox, it became clear that I would benefit from an energy session with her. (I hope you may one day get the chance to work with her or someone like her!)

Her session was very relaxing, but my mind wandered a lot while she worked with my energy.  I was quite alert.  I realized I was craving mushrooms with my lunch (grounding?), I started to think about how I would deal with critics of my writing, and I thought to just send those people love.  The image for my blog banner popped in my

The fabulous Tania Guidolin and myself.  She is so radiant!

head – the specific red dress I had seen in a shop window, on the beach with me running at the camera.  Fun stuff!

At the end of our session (apparently at the exact moment that Tania swept her hand over my body to clear the energy) a very loud airplane went over the building.  Tania felt strongly that this was a sign of my work being “launched”.  And I too know this in my heart.  Wow.

Tania kindly shared this report of our time together,  There is lots for me to process!

Reasons for Healing Session – desires/needs nurturing (as going through detox) confirmation from spirit and intuitive guidance and messages.

Current: body in detox

Session: the energy medicine was as requested and intuited for nourishment as your body is detoxing enough….even too much healing possibly as the energy medicine was light and more focused on recalibrating and nurturing your energy ….because you are clearing enough…as i write this I’m guided to tell you to not have any more reiki or massage while you are detox your body is dealing with enough…

Other messages that came through during the session was a clear image of archangel gabriel in a purple cloak…sitting writing in candlelight…words coming through that writing …is a process for you that is beyond what you conceptualise at this time as you venture into sharing your journey through blog posts with vulnerability and authenticity….”more than you know” …I heard that phrase a few times ….

Further to this some information/guidance on approaching the inner critic and negative self talk, with mindful awareness wrapping the critic with compassion….this means we do not just wrap in love like a bandaid …compassion is far more powerful as it is healing…true compassion is getting to the essence of your inner child wounding where this negative self talk began…seeing this child, telling her its not her fault…the compassion will naturally arise and may even bring tears the first few times you really do this…you are rewriting your DNA with a practice like this…saying to the inner critic “I see you, I know where you come from…I thank you for what I have learned and remove you by your roots with compassion and understanding of who I really am….I am not my thoughts, I am not my emotions….I am…..(I was guided to leave that for you to fill out…I am …..)

While you detox and decrease medication I advise Kelly Brogan as an intellectual support, she is a holistic psychiatrist and can guide you with the information and support you need there.

Please treat any headache with slices (vitamin size) of turmeric and black pepper…the pepper activates the anti-inflammatory property of turmeric called curcumin.

Light & love,

Tania Guidolin, BSc (Psych) Holistic Intuitive life coach, Energy Medicine, Mindfulness Educator

Seeds of Mindfulness: Heart, Art & Science for your Mind, Body, Spirit

Osteopathy Treatments – WOW! Healing Catapult!

Yet once again, as per usual every month or less, I got a good headache which always felt like it was coming from my upper neck and the base of my scull.

I’ve always done Chiropractic to ease my discomfort. But with no chiropractor in Hoi An, I went to see an Osteopath who reached out to my online plea for help.  I saw Dr. Mathieu Tieum three times at the Luminary Life health center. 

January 19

First Osteo appointment.  Had good energy after, but went to bed really early.    Woken up twice by the kids.

January 20

Busy day in Danang then the Hoi An Social Club event in the evening.  Went to bed a little later than usual.

January 21

Couldn’t seem to wake up!  (usually up between 6 & 6:30 am).  Finally got up at 8:15.  Napped all afternoon.  Agitated all day.  Went to bed at 7: 15 pm and slept uninterrupted.

January 22

Woke up at 6:00 am.  Went for a walk.  Sore back and left leg.  Still agitated although less.  Mild depression.  Did a gym workout and then beach meditation.  Helped a little.

January 23

Good mood and good energy.  Sore from my workout.  3:30 pm ‘gut rot’ stomach pain and bloating.  (ate at 7:30 am, then not again until 11:30 am when I had Pho soup.  Then chocolate and peanut butter at 2:30 pm)

The magic happened on the third visit. 

February 2

While Dr. Mathieu did work with movement of my physical body, he also helped me connect and ask my highest self what it truly wanted.  He had me focus on a happy place activity and for me that’s hiking.  I saw and felt myself hiking through dense trees, on a blue sky day.  Moving steadily on a mild incline, well marked trail. 

Dr. Mathieu asked me what seeds he could help me plant, and what words they would be.  After some struggle and nothing, I saw the words Vibrant, Flow, and then a few seconds later Aligned appeared.  As though it was saying “wait for me!!”  ha ha! 

After this, for the first time in my meditation journey, I was able to just see light radiating around the middle of my forehead and in between my eyes (what is often taught as the “third eye”).  I had no mind chatter or visualizations at all.  So I was able to focus on the light, let it get stronger, pull back, then focus on it again.  I had control!   It felt amazing; like pure love.  And a radiant smile formed on my face all by itself.

Next I saw a blue light swirling through my whole body, part by part.  It started in my head, swirled down my neck, into both shoulders, my chest and heart,  stomach, down both legs where it hung out a bit in my knees, to my feet and then gone.  I noted that it stayed extra long in my head, jaw, bowels, cervix and knees.

After this, I couldn’t believe what had just happened.  It was magical.  Dr. Mathieu and I chatted about everything very excitedly.  I felt so light and ecstatic.  And my headache (my initial reason for seeking treatment) was long gone.

Gut Healing Advice

Dr. .Mathieu also gave me a recommendation for healing my gut flora.  He suggested that I get a small amount of natural clay, put it in a cup of water and let it settle over night.  In the morning on an empty stomach, give it a little swirl, then drink the water on top of the clay.  Next add more water and let it sit again until the next day.

He also recommended that I try fasting.  I really know nothing about this, so I will need to explore further!  Hmmm!

Sadly, Dr. Mathieu left Hoi An to travel onward a few days later, but I felt like he gave me the tools I need to move forward.

So now, it’s up to me to explore what all that meant, and how I can give my soul the flow, vibrancy and alignment it wants!

Thank you Dr. Mathieu!  I am so grateful for the healing gift you gave me!

(Dr. Mathieu Tieum also practices in Paris, France.  I recommend that you look him up if you’re there!)